The things that held me back from really living a life that honored God, were the things I thought I could control. I thought that I didn’t need to listen to what God had to say about my situation. I truly believed that I could keep it together and it wouldn’t get out of hand. Well, I was wrong…very wrong. I thought that I could hang out with people who were living lives that were super sketchy and not fall into what they were into.
I even tricked myself into believing that I was making them better because I was going to church and every now and then some of them would come. I was falling into what they were doing and then feeling guilty about it because I knew deep down that I didn’t have it under control.
I know that there are many of you who can relate with what I was going through. Some of you are still dealing with it. The things you know you can’t control may be different from my experience, but they’re still doing the same thing to you as mine did to me, hindering your life from completely honoring God. I believe there are a few reasons why it’s so hard for us to admit we don’t have control and need help.
- Pride – Admitting that you can’t control something can say a lot about you, and because of who we are (asb, star athlete, super smart, pastor’s kid, Christian, son/daughter to awesome Christian parents, student leader) our pride lies to us and says, “to tell other people what you are struggling with will only make things worse.”
- Embarrassed – To admit that you are struggling with gossiping, lying, stealing, porn, lust, masturbation, cheating, partying, staying in a abusive relationship,and relationships with your family, etc… can be embarrassing because you know what the Bible says about your struggle but yet you can’t seem to do anything about it. You feel like you would let people down if they knew about your struggle.
- Rationalize – I use to think that as long as my friends were coming to church every blue moon it was OK for me to hang with them. It allowed me to completely block out what I was doing when I was with them.
- Guilt – The guilt I felt kept me from sharing my struggles with anyone. Because of who I was and what I knew, I felt so much guilt I thought that revealing my struggle would do more harm than good. The guilt of my struggle made me feel worthless.
It wasn’t until I decided to stop being just a listener and I started to become a doer that I saw a change. You see, I started doing the things I was learning from the Bible instead of just listening to it. Here is what helped me:
- Release it – Psalm 55:22 I didn’t have the power or the know how to handle my struggles/sin on my own. I had to give it to God and what I mean by that is that I had to trust and rely on the power of God’s word (the Bible) to give me the strength and the know how to overcome my struggles and sin.
- Confess it – James 5:16 When you don’t confess your struggles/sins, you don’t have the struggle/sin, it has you. Confessing is part of the healing process.
- Replace it – 2 Corinthians 10:5 It’s not enough to just stop sinning, but you have to replace the wrong focus with the right one. Example – You take the thought that you are worthless and replace it with the truth of Psalm 139:13,14.
I still apply this to my life today and God has been faithful to me. I have learned to lean on God’s ways and not my own.
Hope it helps,