Well, I’ve been asked this question a few times and so I thought I’d post about it. It’s really tough to talk about this question with out first examining what this question is really implying. You are basically asking, “how much can you get away with before you’ve reached the line of no return?”. So while I applaud anyone who asks this question with the intent of glorifying God in your relationship, I must say that you have asked the wrong question. This is one of the areas where we, without consciously knowing it, follow culture blindly. Now, I know there are some people who ask this question who feel like they are sincere. I definitely understand that and hopefully by the end of this post you will understand my point.
From the music that’s played repeatedly to TV and movies there is a consistent message that says explore your sexuality and that in relationships you must make sure the two of you are compatible in every area. So it says it’s OK if you explore and be intimate, that is what we are suppose to do. We are fed from every avenue of media that sex outside of marriage is OK and if you haven’t done it yet you are the weird one. Without even trying, you feel like you are suppose to be OK and free with exploring sexual acts in and out of relationships.
Now, you are probably thinking I’m not talking about sex at all. I’m talking about doing the “other stuff”. You are probably thinking I just want to express myself in a way that is natural because we all have these feelings. You are also probably thinking it’s human nature to want to act out this way so help me know where the line is. My favorite is that God knows what we go through. He created us and he understands. The big issue with this question is found in:
Romans 7:11 11 For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. – This verse is saying that sin will use the commandment “no sex before marriage” to deceive us. You might say “how AC”? Glad you asked. Because it knows the body wants to go where it has been forbidden. It also know that apart from Christ we are weak and can’t stand against sin; we lose 100% of the time. So deception is the weapon of choice. Sin deceives us into believing that it’s OK to do all the other stuff as long as we don’t have sex. We are deceived into thinking that we can play with fire and not be burned. We are deceived into thinking that we can overcome the temptation of going all the way even though we are playing at the edge.
Here is a scripture verse that I think pretty much sums up my point:
1 Corinthians 7:1-2(NLT) 1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. – Paul is clarifying information they already know. Paul did not hint to the fact that there is anything in-between. Paul understands that there is only “too far”. So he prescribes marriage because that’s where it is made right before God. The question how far is too far suggests that there is an area where you can play around with no consequences. That is not the case. Sexual immorality is still destroying lives, families and churches. As innocent as the question sounds, there are a lot of Christian’s who are reaping the consequences of thinking they could answer this question.
God was not trying to stop you from having fun when he set sex in the bounds of marriage between a man and a woman. He’s was saving us from the harm it does outside of marriage between a man and a woman. Just like the end of Romans 7:11 says and through deception of the commandment I was put to death, that is exactly what it wants to do to you. So what’s a better question?
- The better question is always motivated by the fact that you don’t have any faith in the fleshes ability to do anything right. So what steps can we take to make sure we don’t fall into temptation?
- The better question will be about a shared responsibility. How can we motivate each other into keeping our personal convictions to stay pure?
- The better question will be motivated by the fact that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.1 Corinthians 20:19-20 How do I gain and keep a high level of respect for my body?
These questions say that you want to follow God’s plan for sex and intimacy and not cultures plan.
hope it helps!! Repost